


Two Lonely Things

by Milly_Blank



Category: She-Ra and the Princesses of Power (2018)
Genre: Abuse, Canon Divergent, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F, Hurt/Comfort, Not Canon Compliant, PTSD, Post Season 4, Recovery, Starvation, Torture, Trauma, glitra
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-27
Updated: 2020-06-16
Packaged: 2021-02-27 13:34:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 15
Words: 17,456
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22438024
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Milly_Blank/pseuds/Milly_Blank
Summary: All that Glimmer and Catra both have worked for is in ruins and they are stuck sharing a cell in Horde Prime's flagship. What does this mean for them? Who do they want to be? Who is this person they each thought they knew, staring back at them?
Relationships: Catra/Glimmer (She-Ra)
Comments: 54
Kudos: 261





	1. Chapter 1

Glimmer held herself tightly. Her fingers gripping her biceps, she felt them press against the bone. She felt as though, if she pressed any harder, her whole self would just crumble. 

Horde Prime’s holding cells were sterile and cold. So cold. 

Glimmer looked down at her own hands and watched them squeeze and loosen around her arms. No sparks. No magic.

Before she had noticed, Glimmer was weeping. She was hollering. She was screaming. Screaming at nothing. At everything. At herself. At the universe. At Catra….

Glimmer looked across the cell and saw Catra crumpled in on herself in the corner. Her tail was wrapped around her legs and her hands were covering her face. Glimmer’s face twisted with a look of contempt.

Suddenly Glimmer was on top of Catra, her hands clawing at her arms. “YOU! YOU DESTROYED EVERYTHING! YOU FUCKING MONSTER!!” Glimmer spewed. Her hands were fists as she swung them down on the Force Captain. She just punched over and over, hitting Catra’s wrists and chest and face. Just over and over. Her knuckles ached under her gloves.

Catra let out a quiet moan.

‘Why hadnt she said anything?? done anything?? Fight back!’ Glimmer thought. The thought was gone quickly as Glimmer continued to rain her fists on Catra.

“YOU EVIL PIECE OF GARBAGE!!” Glimmer was screaming at the top of her lungs when she noticed how much blood was on her knuckles. Her eyes widened and she scrambled across the cell to the opposite corner from Catra. 

“Oh god…”

Glimmer curled up into a ball and wept as Catra let out slow ragged breaths.

They stayed like that for two days.

* * * * *

Catra stirred and spat on the floor. She looked across the cell and caught Glimmer’s wet eyes for a brief moment. They both dropped their heads and looked away.

The cell was just one small metal box with a toilet and a drinking fountain. Catra stood and leaned against the wall nearest to her. She examined her arms and hands with a glossy indifference. Her wounds hurt. Dried blood clung to her fur.  
She licked at her wounds quietly as Glimmer turned her body away.

“Sorry…” Glimmer let quietly slip.

Catra stopped.

“For?” Catra said with a raised brow.

Glimmer jumped to her feet with tears streaming down her face. “For punching you until I got blood up to my forearms!! Fuck! Catra! You…..I…..”

Catra looked at her feet. She couldn’t dare look at Sparkles like this. This wasn’t right.

“Shut up. ” Catra sighed.

“Okay…” Glimmer fell to the floor and faced the corner. Her body shook as she kept crying to herself.

“Are you just going to cry?”

Glimmer looked over her shoulder, back at Catra. “Yes. That’s all I’m going to do. I have nothing left Catra. Just these stupid tears that wont stop and a living reminder of everything I hate about the world. So Its either punch you until I explode or cry.”

“Hmm…” Catra looked up at nothing in particular. "Sparkles…..you’re alive. You should be glad for that. You get used to having everything being ripped from you…..“

Glimmer stood up and walked over to Catra and stared into her eyes. Catra prepared to be slugged again. Instead Glimmer grabbed her shoulder firmly. "Why am I alive, Catra?”

Catra’s eyes narrowed and she knocked Glimmer’s hand off her. "Strategy.“ Catra said coldly. "I don’t know what Horde Prime is like and I needed some leverage if I ever wanted to get out of here…..You’re leverage, Sparkles.”

“Yes. I know I’m leverage. I know. I’m not stupid , Catra. But you could have just not exposed yourself. You could have hid in this ship for ages, I’m certain, and found a teleport. Instead you gave yourself up… I want to know why." 

The suspicion grew in Glimmer’s tone as she spoke. "I first assumed it was so you could watch me fall apart or to kill me or just so you could kick me while I was down. But now…..” Glimmer trialed off. It had grown hard for Glimmer to think. She was so hungry.

“Don’t overthink everything, geez.” Catra huffed. “You’re valuable and its so fucking annoying!”

Glimmer turned away and leaned against the wall opposite Catra. She gave Catra a long hard stare. Catra pretended not to notice.

“Okay…I’m valuable. What do we do now then? Did you have a plan to get out?”

“No.” Catra admitted.

“No?! I thought the mighty Catra always had a plan!” The venom in Glimmer’s voice was nearly tactile.

“No! Okay?!” Catra bit her lip and pressed her fang into it. It was a habit she had picked up whenever she was frustrated or upset.

“Well then I guess you’re useless.” Glimmer let her self slide to the floor and bent her knees up under her chin. It was the warmest position Glimmer could manage.

Catra staggered back at the word 'useless’ and suddenly she felt hot, wet tears streaming down her face. It echoed around in her head. Shadow Weaver’s voice echoed in her head….

Normally that was Catra’s cue to run to some private place. Some place to hide. Some place to break down alone. But she was trapped here with another person. Another person was going to to see. Was going to see her fall to pieces.

“Useless……useless…….” Catra muttered as she clawed at her face. “STOP CRYING!!” Catra screamed at herself.

Glimmer just looked up and stared.

“STOP IT! STOP!” Catra tried to swallow air. She banged her head against the wall and clawed at nothing in particular as the hotness of sadness welled in Catra’s face.

“Catra?” Glimmer climbed to her feet and cautiously made her way to Catra’s side.

“Go away! Go! Leave me alone!!”

“Catra, please. I’m sorry I said you were useless….”

“I am! I know I am! Its a fact! I’m worse than what Shadow Weaver thought. I’m a monster….I tried to kill the world! I–”

Glimmer wrapped Catra up in her arms.

“Yeah. So did I. Join the club, Catra.”

Suddenly everything was quiet.

Suddenly everything Catra saw felt like it was a thousand miles away as she slunk into Glimmer’s shaky embrace.


	2. Chapter 2

Glimmer's eyes were a soft, muddy purple and it was the only color Catra could see as she shook awake. Awake? But her eyes were open. 

"...tra....Catra?" A voice crashed into Catra. 

"Yes?" Words left Catra's lips. She didn't know how. 

"Are you okay?"

"No." Catra dug her face into Glimmer's shoulder. She was moving on pure instinct now. Her mind was tired and aching. 

Glimmer's hand trembled as it held Catra's head. Catra had been in her arms for hours now. She cycled between crying at nothing and answering questions softly that only she could hear. Glimmer just tried to hold her tight. 

"Sparkles?..." Catra mumbled. 

"Hmm?"

"Is this rock bottom?"

Glimmer took a slow deep breath. "I fucking hope so." 

******

Once every twelve hours two ration bars would be teleported into their cell. They swore they were getting smaller each time. 

Catra nibbled at her bar, one of her back teeth hurt and felt like it may have been cracked ; chewing was awkward. 

"You keeping track of the hours at all?" Glimmer said, chewing diligently. 

"Uh....how many bars do we have?" 

Glimmer slide over her cape, she had detached and bundled in the corner nearest her. She unwrapped it gently, revealing the seven chunks of rations squirreled away. She nibbled the edges of the piece in her hand and chucked the remaining piece in with the others. 

"If they're working on the Horde prison procedures you said we're on....fuck....Four days?"

"Four days since they first fed us. I don't know how long that was....coulda been half a day or two days. Food is important to controlling a prisoner." Catra staggered to her feet and sipped at the lowly bubbling water fountain. 

"I wouldn't know...Brightmoon doesn't have a prison." Glimmer said, with what little pride she had left plastered on her face. 

Catra looked down at the pink princess confused and yet not surprised. "Of course it doesn't...." Catra huffed out. 

Suddenly another bright green light filled the cell. Now in the center of he room were two sets of clothes. Glimmer grabbed the set that looked like it'd fit her and placed it against herself. "Green...."

Catra picked up her's and examined it. "Yeah...."

"I fucking hate it." Glimmer said. 

"Yeah. " Catra nodded her head in agreement. 

Suddenly, a wheeze escaped Catra and she was laughing. But it felt real. It felt loud and inappropriate. But she just shook with laughter. 

"What?" Glimmer asked looking up at Catra. A small smile slipped onto Glimmer's face.

"Its just that everything felt so unreal....You're here in this place with me. Trapped with me. We're pariahs. Fuck ups. We're being starved to death while knowing we're at the whim of some heartless maniac and honestly the only thing I can help but think right now is 'I'd rather die than wear this fucking ugly ass jumpsuit'"

Glimmer and Catra both let out soft, weak giggles. Glimmer got to her feet, her new clothes in hand. "I guess we should put the fucking things on. Horde Prime probably wants to see us soon. Gotta get gussied up!" Glimmer did a mock twirl as she spun to the opposite corner from Catra and turned her back to her. 

Catra looked down at her own outfit clutched against her chest. Putting on another Horde uniform felt repulsive. Her nails clung to the fabric. She twist the thing in her hands. 

"Catra?" Glimmer said over her shoulder, slipping her leotard down gently. "Stay with me okay? Be in the present okay?"

Catra let out a quick breath. "Okay." Catra looked up and saw Glimmer's back. The tiny wings on her back caught Catra's eye. Then Catra just found herself watching Glimmer move. She was fussy and awkward and loud....But the way her body moved......"You have wings?" Catra slipped out. 

Glimmer looked over her shoulder, pulling tights up around her thighs. "Yeah? What about them?" 

Why was Catra's face so hot? Catra fumbled for an answer. All she could do was hang her head, turn away from Glimmer and face the corner as she slide her leotard off. Glimmer saw the network of scars and patches of missing fur that blanketed Catra's back and let out a quiet gasp. 

"Are those from us?" Glimmer said, pointing at a particularly nasty one near Catra's left kidney. 

Catra looked over her shoulder, and down at her back. "No....not all of them..." Catra slide her new outfit up to her hips and then stood there for a moment. "Some are Shadow Weaver, some are Hordak....But yes. A lot of them are yours." Catra turned her head back to face the corner when she felt a hand touching her back. 

"I'm sorry. I really am, Catra" Glimmer said softly as she ran her hand gently along the raised scars littering Catra's back. Glimmer found herself pressed against Catra. Her arms slowly wrapping themselves around her waist. The skin of Glimmer's exposed upper body pressed against the exposed fur of Catra's back. They both stood there for a long moment.

Their bodies breathed in and out deeply in near unison until Catra broke up the embrace. "I need to finish getting dressed, Glimmer." Catra said softly but firmly. Glimmer nodded and she let Catra go. 

Glimmer pulled on the top part of her outfit and began affixing the cape and trying her best to fix her hair as well as she could. 

"That's right. We might be seeing Prime, soon...Cant go see him with our tiddies out, right Catra?" 

Catra let out a soft chuckle as she slide on the rest of her leotard. "Right." 

Now dressed, they both sat in the middle of the cell, shoulder to shoulder. And waited.


	3. Chapter 3

Glimmer was asleep with her head pressed against Catra's shoulder when the green light flickered around them. Suddenly the two were sitting between two clone guards. Catra nudged the queen awake. Glimmer let out a half gasp half snort as she leapt into attack position. 

"I'm awake!" Glimmer said reflexively. Catra slowly climbed to her feet and stood behind Glimmer. "I was!" Glimmer looked over to the clone guards, who towered over Catra and her. 

"Sparkles, act like a queen..." Catra said weakly. 

"I am." Glimmer looked back at the cat woman and saw her in full light for the first time since their capture. She looked so strange in her dull toxic green jumpsuit. She still had a cut lip and bruises around her eyes and nose from Glimmer's blows when they first arrived. Glimmer twisted thinking about how mad she was. How mad she is. 

But Glimmer also noticed something else looking back at Catra.....she was thin and she was weak. She looked so exhausted and sad. Glimmer couldn't tell how much of it was their confinement by Prime and how much is just what Catra dealt with form day to day, finally starting to show just how tired she really was. 

"This way." The clone gestured. Glimmer followed. Catra followed Glimmer and the other guard stood awkwardly close to Catra. 

The halls in Horde's administrative area were bright, plush and gilded in slivers and greens. Every so often Glimmer would catch her own sad and desperate eyes in a reflection and flinch a little. 

The guards lead them through a huge set of black sliding doors. And again, Catra and Glimmer find themselves back in Horde Prime's throne room. The screens displayed detailed breakdowns of Etheria's topography, mineral breakdown, atmospheric conditions and general fauna and flora. 

"Hello, my dears. " Horde Prime said, looking up at the screens behind him. "How are my guests? How has your stay been so far?" Glimmer could feel his grinning even if she couldn't see it. 

Catra stepped forward "Its been wonderful, my lord, truly. How may we serve you?" Catra bowed. 

Horde Prime turned around and found his way down the stairs that lead to his throne. He looked down at Catra. "Oh, its a trivial matter. " His smile grew more pleasant as he looked down on Glimmer. "A simple, honest answer to a simple honest request." 

"Anything, my Lord." Catra said, her head down in mid bow. 

Prime sauntered over to a stiff and uneasy Glimmer, his fanged smile leering down. "Your highness, you seem upset. Have I offended you in some way?"

Glimmer was furious. This is the man who stole her from her home on verge of victory and shoved her in a cage with her worst enemy. The man who has Etheria's throat in his clawed grasp. 

"No, my lord, I'm not upset." Glimmer said, a forced smile across her lips. 

Prime leaned in on Glimmer. He was so close that Glimmer could taste the eerie sweetness of Horde Prime's scent. It was unnatural and sickly. Glimmer tried not to gag through her smile. 

"Good!" Prime beamed. "And I trust your clothes fit you? They're up to your standards?"

"Yes, Lord Prime. " Glimmer nodded with as much fake enthusiasm as she could muster. 

"Then I simply ask you pledge your undying loyalty to me" Prime said staring straight into Glimmer's eyes.

"Uh..." Glimmer stammered.

"My Lord, ---" Catra turned toward the two in a hurry. She had to stop Sparkles from saying something stupid. 

"Quiet, feline." Horde Prime said coldly. "You have no choice. Your loyalty is assumed. This one....I want to hear her say it."

"My lord..." Glimmer looked at Catra's desperate expression and up at the digital display of Etheria above Prime. What does she say? How could she pledge loyalty to a monster? She felt her chest fill with so much air. 

"Now, little queen, I'm certain you're smart enough to know what to say"

Is this Horde Prime's game? Glimmer could feel tears swelling in her eyes. She could feel her body shake. 

"I--" Glimmer began through tears. "--I-- I can't my lord.....My planet is important to me. My kingdom is mine. It belongs to me and my people!" 

Catra sucked in air as she watched Glimmer's words hit Prime. "I see...." Prime turned away and looked up at the map of Etheria. "...It belongs to you...."

Glimmer stepped forward a bit. "...well yes....I'm not going to give up my planet. I could never...."

Suddenly Glimmer was met with a backhand from Prime. Glimmer flew across the room and smashed back first into a glass panel. It shattered as her body smacked against it at full force.

"YOU COULD NEVER?! I TELL YOU WHAT YOU CAN AND CANT DO, GIRL!" Prime screamed. His words were growls as he picked up a clearly unconscious Glimmer and screamed into her face. "YOU BELONG TO ME! JUST LIKE EVERY OTHER TRINKET I WISH TO HAVE! YOU WEAK AND PATHETIC--" Suddenly Prime looked down at Catra, who was frozen in fear where she stood. "Oh forgive my temper, Force Captain. I just get so passionate." He let Glimmer fall helplessly to the floor.

Prime sat on his throne as Catra rushed to Glimmer's side. Catra stumbled to find a pulse, and found one but Glimmer was breathing slowly and cuts from the glass began to spill blood. "My emperor... she needs a medic....she may die....My lord.....she needs to be alive for the weapon."

"Oh yes, the weapon! All this excitement and I never really got to talk real business!"

Catra pressed her hand to Glimmer's face and tears welled in her eyes. "Please.....My lord....Please without her the weapon--"

"Yes. Yes." Horde Prime absentmindedly waved for the Clones to take Glimmer. "There she's going to a medic. Are you pleased?" Prime said, irony dripping from his tongue. "Now about this weapon--"

*****

Glimmer's eyes fluttered open back in her and Catra's holding cell. Her new cape was bundled up into a pillow under her head. Her whole body ached. Her arms and legs were covered in bandages and her head felt heavy. 

Glimmer tried to sit up and couldn't. Her strength wasn't there. 

"Glimmer??!" Catra said. It was dark and hard for Glimmer to make out the figure of Catra charging toward her in her dizzy darkness. Her hand went up reflexively to let out some sparks to light up the room but, of course, there was nothing. 

Suddenly Catra was holding her tightly. She could feel warm tears splashing on her cheek. "Oh god...it's been three days! I thought you--I--"

"Catra?" 

Catra nodded.

"How's that for acting like a queen, huh?" Glimmer said weakly....

Catra ran her fingers through Glimmer's hair. She didn't know why she was doing it but it felt like the only thing to do. "We need you to be more careful! Not telling Prime what he wants to hear is dangerous! Don't you know not to tell people like that the truth???!" 

Glimmer smiled weakly. "Ha ha. You give a shit! About little ole me!"

"Geez-- No! how hard of a hit to the head did you take??"

Glimmer expected her to huff and complain and go to her own corner but, instead, Catra stayed right by Glimmer, gently running her hand through her hair and checking her wounds. 

"The clone guys cleaned and stitched your cuts. Uh--they didn't really give me any um--like prognosis but it'll probably be a little weird moving your arms.....weird and painful...."

"That's okay." Glimmer let out a chuckle. "I handle pain real well." She grimaced. 

"I'm sure you do..." Catra looked down at Glimmer and knew it was probably true. "They said there may have been nerve damage so moving your hands may feel um 'unpleasant' was their word...." 

"Catra?"

"Yes?"

"Thank you for looking after me. " Glimmer smiled. 

Catra's face became flushed as she stammered. "Yeah well....Come here we need to change your bandages" Catra said, pulling out a pile of gauze.


	4. Chapter 4

Catra ripped the strip of gauze from the roll and tied up the strand wrapped around Glimmer's thigh. Glimmer suffered several large gashes along her legs and arms, along with a few dozen smaller cuts and scrapes. They looked like they were healing to Catra, who was desperately trying to remember the few times she paid attention during medic training. 

"There. All set. You look okay. Let me know if any of the bandages feel too tight...." Catra couldn't stand to look at Glimmer, so she awkwardly nodded, patted Glimmer's knee and slid into the corner and looked away. 

"Thank you, Catra" Glimmer smiled. 

"Hmm." Catra grunted out as she folded in on herself. 

Empty silence filed the cell. 

Glimmer let herself flop flat against the floor of the cell and let out a long sigh. Then she let out a longer, louder sigh. She leaned up on her elbow as best as she could and let out a long, loud sigh, pinpointed right at Catra. 

"WHAT?!" Catra let out, her patience gone. 

"Nothing...." Glimmer smiled and pretended to look up in thought. "Oh! I remember!"

"...What?" Catra said, exasperated. 

"Well I was thinking...."

"Uh-huh?.." 

"...We both know Adora really well....."

"Sparkles....."

"And we were both basically her best friend...."

"Sparkles...I don't want to talk about Adora...."

"Why not?! I mean we have nothing better to do! And Adora never really went into any real detail about you! She'd tell stories about good times with you but never any detail about how she felt about you! Or what you two really were......"

"Figures you'd almost die and the moment you can talk you REFUSE TO SHUT UP!" Catra said, exhausted. 

"Come here and sit next to the queen and grace her with all the sweet sweet details!" Glimmer patted the empty floor next to her. 

"There are no 'details'. We were raised together. We were friends. We had each other's backs...until we didn't....end of story." 

"Yeah, that's basically what Adora told me...but, that can't be all right?"

"It may surprise you, Sparkles, but sometimes things aren't that complicated."

Glimmer paused for a moment. "No. I don't accept that answer, Catra."

"What?"

"I don't accept that answer. Its not the truth and you and I both know it."

"YOU DON'T KNOW ANYTHING!" Catra jumped to her feet and stood over Glimmer. 

"Then tell me!" Glimmer said with a huge smile. 

"I--um..." Catra looked around as if expecting something to save her from this moment. "I--"

Glimmer patted the same spot on the floor. 

Catra grumbled loudly and plopped down next to Glimmer on the floor. "There. I'm sitting. You happy???"

"Yes. Very." Glimmer smiled. Catra blushed and she had no idea why. 

"Well...Okay, Adora and I were raised together....And....Uh-- This is hard to say. We were inseparable. By design. I mean I was thinking....I had always thought-- We were in love. I loved her. But the more distant I am from it. It feels so....empty...."

Glimmer placed a hand on Catra's knee as she seemed release years worth of internal chatter out into the world. 

"...I know she had affection for me, but Shadow Weaver made things clear. I'm a toy Adora was allowed to own. I was a doll. I was never a person. No matter how loudly I yelled or who I hurt.....I'm never a person...." Tears streamed down Catra's face. 

"And then--then she left me! She got to be the hero! Again! She got to have you! A new happy life! I was told it was my fault. For every little thing. Every thing Adora did. It was my fault I was hurt and she was happy. "

Glimmer used what strength she had to wrap her arms around Catra as she began to shake with sadness. "Catra..."

"Then I was doubling down. Chasing something....anything...Why was I never good enough?? Why couldn't I be enough? Adora has people lined up to praise her! But if I do anything....I end up in a cage....."

Catra wailed and wept in Glimmer's arms for a few minutes. 

Glimmer gently lifted Catra's chin and looked into Catra's eyes for a moment and let out a little breath. "That's Adora. Everyone loves her. It's super fucking annoy, isn't it?!" 

Catra let out a little giggle. 

"Like we get it! You're She-ra! Good for you! I got my own shit! Go polish your sword! I have shit to do!"

Catra laughed a little harder. 

"I mean, she's always just.....right there! Always! Just ready to flash her stupid puppy eyes and make me feel bad for not doing every little thing she says! 'Look, Adora! I got a planet to accidentally destroy! Can I have a minute??!'" 

Catra and Glimmer chuckled loudly as they both weakly fell into each others' arms.


	5. Chapter 5

Glimmer shook awake. She couldn't remember when she fell asleep. The dim light always buzzed above their heads. It was disorienting. She, for a moment couldn't remember why her legs ached and her arms burned. 

She looked down and saw Catra's head resting on her stomach. 'She's so beautiful...' Glimmer found herself thinking before she shook her head and slumped back down flat on floor. 

"You're awake." Catra said, not lifting her head. 

"Yeah..." 

"I think I made a mistake...."

The air in the room was the same sterile, sickly-sweet air that filled the whole of Prime's flagship. But in that moment the air felt heavy in Glimmer's lungs. And the moment felt thick and slow. 

"You're going to have to be specific, Catra." Glimmer said, hazarding a joke. 

Catra didn't laugh. "I said too much. I'm not going to let it happen again. I looked foolish. "

"Said too much...about what?"

"About Adora...about Shadow Weaver....About myself...." Catra shifted. She made a move to crawl away from Glimmer but instead she just collapsed under her own weight. Nothing felt stable. "I want to run and hide so badly, Glimmer...."

"Catra..." Glimmer gently shifted her weight to sit up and look down at Catra. She placed her hand on Catra's cheek. 

"You're being so soft with me....why? I'm the reason your mother is dead..."

Glimmer's hand recoiled reflexively. But then it was back gently resting on Catra's fur. 

"I'm aware of that, Catra."

Catra slid to her knees and climbed onto Glimmer. Catra's legs rested on either side of Glimmer and she stared down right at her. Glimmer searched for words but found none. All she could do was look back up at Catra's tired, intense eyes, and try and breathe. 

"...Why haven't you killed me?!" Tears weld up in Catra's eyes. "You should have--I should--You deserve to--" Catra banged at her head with the fleshier parts of her palms and clawed at her hair. 

Glimmer grabbed Catra by the wrists and slide her arms gently back down to her side. "Hey. Catra. Look at me?"

Catra's face was soaked in tears as she looked down at Glimmer's bandaged arms reach out for her. Glimmer's hands gently held Catra's face. Her thumbs ran gently against the fur on Catra's cheeks. 

"You're allowed to want to be alive. " Glimmer smiled lovingly and kissed Catra deeply.


	6. Chapter 6

Catra rested her head in the crook of Glimmer's shoulder as they held each other gently. Glimmer had some of her strength back. Her body always healed fast, with or without the moonstone's power. Even still, the slowing of their rations to one bar to share every two days was wearing on her; their previous stash of ration bars having been confiscated during their visit to the throne room. Catra said it was probably a punishment for "speaking out of turn" or also more likely Horde Prime was just being cruel for cruelness' sake. 

Glimmer had trusted Catra was keeping better track of the days than she could. She lost huge chunks of time during her recovery from Prime's outburst, but best she and Catra could figure, it had been nearly three weeks since their capture.

The queen was afraid the moment their captors knew she was stable again she'd be staring at those four off set eyes again. They were already in her nightmares. Right beside an Adora with tears in her eyes and hurt on her face...

Glimmer felt proud of finally telling Adora everything she had been holding in, in her nightmares. She hated how proud she felt. It twisted her stomach every time she shook awake with a smile on her lips and tears in her eyes. The way the nightmare Glimmer got to shout every angry and resentful thought at a sad and hurt Adora. Adora was running away but still she shouted with glee. Every awful thing she thought she could say. 

Then Glimmer was awake again...

Awake and so ashamed. She ran her fingers through Catra's hair. 'This woman killed your mother,' she thought. A lump grew in her throat as her eyes swelled with tears. Glimmer let air suck into her mouth. Glimmer felt Catra shift under her arms. 

Catra turned to face toward Glimmer, still resting her head on her shoulder. 

"What are your dreams like, Catra?" Glimmer mused, out loud to herself.

"What?"

Glimmer recoiled into herself a little. She hadn't expected Catra to be awake. Or to hear her. 

"...What are your dreams like, Catra?" she found herself repeating. 

"They're...bad. " Catra said flatly. 

"What happens in them?"

"Every single bad thing I ever did. Every time I did nothing at all. It changes...." 

Glimmer could feel Catra hold her a little tighter. "Catra....Are you proud in your nightmares? When you see the bad things you did? Are you happy?"

"No...why?"

"...in mine I am... I think I might be a really bad person deep down...." Glimmer let slip, coldly. 

The room felt colder than usual. And quiet. Glimmer pet Catra's hair gently. 

"...Me too..." Catra said, quietly.

" Is Adora in your dreams?"

"Yes. Is she in yours?"

"Yes. "

Catra leaned on one elbow to look up at Glimmer. Her eyes, were wide and sad and tired and intense. "Has she kissed you?"

"...not on the lips..."

"Good." Catra stared intensely into Glimmer's eyes as if testing her. She huffed as she slumped back down and laid her head on Glimmer's chest. 

A little smile crept onto Glimmer's face. "Wait. Catra, were you jealous?!" 

"No!" Catra felt like shriveling into nothingness as she felt the smug joy from the pink princess. 

"Oh my! My my my! Catra was jealous! Why?? Jealous that someone was kissing Adora.....or that someone might've been kissing me?"

"Oh get over yourself!"

"Someone kissing me that wasn't you!" Glimmer said with a mock accusation. "You were jealous that Adora might have got to kiss me first!" 

"SHUT UP, SPARKLES!" Catra curled up and faintly play jabbed at Glimmer's stomach in a display of flustered frustration. 

"It's okay, Catra. You smooched me first!" 

"Okay no. You kissed ME! I just--"

" Just kissed me back like you been wanting to for like forever?"

"Yes! --Uh....no....I ugh! Fuck! Sparkles stop talking!!" 

"Stop talking and kiss you?" Glimmer was bursting with brattiness. 

Catra turned over and looked up at Glimmer, blushing bright red. "No!" 

Glimmer sat up and kissed Catra gently on the lips. Catra's eyes widened and then softened as she kissed Glimmer back with a soft eagerness.


	7. Chapter 7

Catra and Glimmer were sat up in the corner of their cell with their limbs entangled in each other's. Catra had found she was the most safe being held close to Glimmer's chest as they rested and saved the little energy they had. 

Glimmer placed light kisses on Catra's wild mane and down to her forehead. All pretense was shattered between them now. They expressed themselves with long touches and intense bouts of kissing. They were so tired but still the intensity still sparked when their lips touched the other's bodies. 

Catra let out soft purrs. The force captain had hidden so much of her more cat-like mannerisms and signifiers in the months leading up to Horde Prime's arrival, hiding as much of her fur as she could under leather and spandex and flattening her hair....But now she didn't have the strength to care about such things. It felt like a lifetime ago to her anyway. 

"Glimmer?"

"Hmm?"

"Do you think we'll die in here?"

"...don't think like that, Catra. As soon as Horde Prime asks to see us again we'll get our chance to escape."

Catra let out a soft sigh. " He hasn't bothered to even send food in here in what has to be four days....I think we're being used to turn the screws....Get the rebellion to surrender..."

"I know Catra. But I believe in Adora and the others."

Catra found tears dripping off her chin. "I don't want to die in here, Glimmer..."

Glimmer weakly, and slowly shifted her weight and lifted Catra's head gently so she could look into the beautiful, wild, mismatched eyes she's grown so attached to. "Don't give up yet, Catra. I need you. I care about you. And you are so good...."

Catra looked away. She couldn't stand looking at Glimmer when she said such things. If she started looking at her when she did, Catra might have to start believing her. 

"...If we get out of here where will I go?....where do I have to go?"

"Catra you can come with me anywhere, if you want to. I wont let anyone say otherwise--"

Just then the room seemed to shift and they slipped across the floor and smacked against the other corner. 

"Ow! What the hell?!" Catra yelped. 

"I think the ship moved.....but it felt weird like it tilted--oh fuck!" Glimmer popped to her feet, using her hand to brace herself against the slanted wall and her hand glowed brightly. "Yes!" Glimmer slid and shifted with the ship as she gripped Catra by the arm and closed her eyes and thought of home.

And with a flash they were back on the surface of Etheria. They both looked up to see the ships blanketing the sky drift apart from each other disorganized and awkward. 

"Sparkles?..." Catra asked.

"Yeah?"

"What happened?" 

"No clue. But, we're home..." 

Catra and Glimmer leaned against each other as they gathered their bearings. Glimmer saw the Moonstone in the distance. 

"We're home." Glimmer repeated to herself. 

With another bright pink flash Catra and Glimmer we're on the Moonstone platform. Glimmer gently placed Catra on the bench Glimmer used to use to recharge when her mother was alive and she still shared her power. 

Catra was looking around and touching the soft bedding beneath her and making sure it was real. She even clawed at the fabric to be sure. 

"Heeeeeeyyyyy!! Anyone herrreeee!!?" Glimmer belted, with all the strength she could muster. 

"Fuck, Sparkles! Easy on the yelling! My head is killing me. " Catra mumbled.

"Sorry." Glimmer said, turning back to look at Catra, who looked so soft to Glimmer right that moment. 

Suddenly, a balcony door opened and a figure busted out of it. A tall athletic blonde stood in front of them. 

"Glimmer?" Adora said, her hands raising to her mouth. "You're here...."

Glimmer stepped forward and awkwardly waved at Adora and managed a smile. "Hi Adora..."

Glimmer was wrapped up in Adora's arms. They stood there embracing, as tears dropped onto each other's shoulders. 

"We were--I was so scared that you died up there. Prime wouldn't tell us if you were still alive! Wouldn't say where you were! We tried to attack with Mara's ship--we had--We thought --" Adora let out between sobs.

Suddenly Adora let Glimmer go and she shifted into a defensive position. "Glimmer....Catra is right next to you..."

Glimmer, tiredly looked back over her shoulder and back at Catra, awkwardly sitting behind her and shrugged. "She usually is." Glimmer held a hand out to Catra and lead her into her throne room, followed closely by a deeply confused Adora. 

"What's with the Horde ships? That you guys?" Glimmer flatly asked, as she slowly shambled toward a bowl of fruit in her throne room's receiving area. Glimmer began slowly peeling the skin off a fruit and handing pieces to Catra and slipping some into her mouth. Catra pensively chewed, savoring the sensation of food. 

"Uh..Yeah. Entrapta just activated a virus to knock out the armada....Glimmer, why is Catra here? Where were you two??"

Glimmer and Catra had moved on to hand fruits and were taking huge bites out of it and passing it to the other back and forth as Glimmer talked. "On the flagship... " Glimmer nibbled at the core of the fruit. "What's the plan now?"

"The plan? Glimmer--are you okay?" Adora reached out her hand to touch Glimmer, when Bow walked in and stood stark still in shock upon seeing Glimmer.

"Glimmer?" Bow ask, mouth agape. 

"Hi bow." Glimmer greeted weakly as she ripped a piece of a particularly crispy fruit in half and gave some to Catra drawing Bow's eyes to the former Horde Force Captain. 

"Catra?" Catra weakly gave a wave to Bow as she chomped down, with much less trepidation, onto every piece of food Glimmer handed her, ravenously consuming it. 

"Uh--Adora? That is Glimmer, right?"

Adora nodded. She seemed slightly unsure herself. Bow cautiously made his way to Glimmer and looked at her. Glimmer looked up into his eyes. "It's me, Bow." 

Bow's eyes became huge wet saucers as he wrapped his arms around Glimmer and squeezed. Adora smiled and held on to them both. 

Catra watched and slipped a piece of some juicy, fibrous thing into her mouth. 

Glimmer stiffened. "Okay. Enough. " Adora and Bow loosened their hold on Glimmer and watched her detach her cape and stumble toward her quarters. "I'm exhausted and dehydrated....Have someone fix a cot for Catra, let her eat whatever, and make her drink some water. I want to know where we are in this war as soon as I'm out of the bath. " 

Adora looked back at Catra, dumbfounded. Catra could only manage a weak shrug. 

"AND SOMEONE BRING ME SOMETHING TO WEAR THAT ISN'T FUCKING GREEN!" Glimmer shouted from down the hall.


	8. Chapter 8

After a long, hot bath, Glimmer sat in the Brightmoon war room in a bright purple sleeping gown. It felt like eons since she had seen the war room. The murals of her father and mother looked down at her from across the room. She averted her eyes. She took turns sipping hot tea, drinking a giant jug of water and scarfing down a plate of eggs and pancakes. 

Adora sat on the other side of the table with Bow, Entrapta and Scorpia. 

Glimmer listened as Adora talked about how the day after she was taken, Adora, Bow and Entrapta took Mara's ship to take on the armada and get her back but were quickly blown out of the sky and how Entrapta nearly died. How they struggled to fight back the scout teams harassing every corner of Etheria. How Horde Prime's transmissions said Glimmer was suffering, orbiting some far off star or how she was buried in some distant planet's desert. How he demanded they activate the weapon. How he demanded they surrender or everything they love would die. She listened as they said she and Catra had been gone for nearly two months.

Glimmer, tired and distant, listened. And the moment Adora finished Glimmer stood up. "Okay. Good. In the morning I'll need a full troop breakdown and our updated territory and defense info. I'm going to bed." She began to walk toward the enormous double doors leading out into the hall. 

The others were sat stunned and confused. They glanced to each other, as nervously Bow stood up. "Glimmer. Wait! You should also know! Your father is alive! We found him on Beast Island. He's been the king regent waiting for you to return. He's ready to see you! He's missed you so much!"

Glimmer froze and turned back to look at Bow. Her eyes were different. She was different. And Bow couldn't say how. Maybe it was Glimmer's thinner frame. She had lost so much weight that none of the clothes in her room fit her anymore. "My father's alive?"

"Yes!" Adora stood, with a pensive smile on her face. "All he talked about on the island was seeing you again! And he hasn't stopped, even after being back in Brightmoon. He's waiting for you in the garden, if you want to talk to him."

Glimmer let the information wash over her and but looked at Adora with a cold indifference. Adora took a slow step back. She couldn't read Glimmer at all anymore. 

"Alright. Thank you for letting me know. " Glimmer stared at the room for a moment and then turned and walked out and down the hall.

The others took a deep breath. 

"Well, that was awkward...." Scorpia blurted out. 

******

Catra sat on her new cot. It was placed in a spare room awkwardly next to the bed that was already there. Catra took some deep sighs and nibbled at a huge piece of bread she was given by Bow. Adora wouldn't look at her and Entrapta and Scorpia just stared at her until she got up to find her new room. 

Catra chugged down a glass of water and then, with a huff decided to get up and find a place to crawl up and hide in. 

As she cautiously wandered the unfamiliar, pastel walls of Brightmoon she saw Glimmer, through the doors that lead out to the garden. She was sitting across from a man who looked so much like her. Who was he?

Catra couldn't hear what they were saying but she could see Glimmer was crying. A buzz welled up in Catra's chest. Her eyes filled with tears and suddenly she found herself opening the doors and charging to the queen's side. 

"Glimmer are you okay?! Who is this?!" Catra clung to her own clothes as she found herself asking louder than she expected. 

"Yeah. I'm okay, Catra. This is my dad." Glimmer used the back of her hand to wipe away a small stream of tears from under her eyes. 

"The dead one?!" Catra yelped.

Micah, put off but taking the moment in stride, smiled sincerely. "Yep. The very same!" He put his hand out to shake Catra's but seeing her not move in kind, instead, gently placed it on Glimmer's shoulder. "But I wasn't actually dead. The Horde left me on Beast Island."

Catra staggered at the mention of Beast Island and made a loud disgruntled growl. She never wanted to hear that name again.....but Entrapta was in Brightmoon. Entrapta would always remind her of that place. Of what she did. 

"Excuse me. I'm sorry. I'm interrupting..." Catra quickly turned and ran back to her makeshift quarters and slammed the door. She crawled onto her cot and wept. She scratched at the curtains and threw her glass of water against the room's fireplace. 

Catra was panting and screaming into her own hands when a knock came on the door. 

"WHAT!?" Catra screamed, with what little energy she had left in her. 

"It's me..." 

Catra recognized Glimmer's soft tone as she gently opened the door and quietly closed the door behind her. She surveyed the place and looked at the weeping, wild-haired cat woman sitting in the middle of the room. She stepped around the shattered glass on the floor and found her way to Catra on the cot and laid down behind her. 

Catra wiped the tears from her cheeks as she leaned back and laid next to Glimmer. 

"I'm sorry. I know it probably was important.... what I interrupted back there."

"It was." Catra recoiled at the words a little but Glimmer continued. "But, I couldn't find the emotions. I should have been overjoyed. I should have grabbed him and swung him around and wept like a child...but I didn't. It was another conversation I had to have before I could sleep...."

"You were crying..."

"Yes." Glimmer started. "But for the wrong reasons....I was so frustrated...."

The two stared up at the ceiling. It was a new ceiling. A different ceiling. Different from the ceiling they spent the last however many days looking up at together. 

"I'm sorry....For the mess..."

"Which one?" Glimmer asked, a small smile on her face. 

"The glass on the floor."

"Oh. That's okay. We can clean it up in the morning."

Catra nodded and rolled over to face Glimmer who flopped her arm around her. "Wanna sleep?"

Glimmer nodded and scooted in close to Catra and closed her eyes. 

They soon were breathing deeply together and their bodies found the other's crooks and crevices as they slept in each other's arms.


	9. Chapter 9

It was mid-morning before Catra awoke. She rolled over to see Glimmer still holding her. Her soft pink hair was ruffled and messy. A little smile found it's way to Catra's lips. The sun flooding the room felt fake and unnatural. She then remembered she hadn't seen the sun in weeks. She squinted to brace her eyes when a gentle knock came from the door.

Catra moved slowly and deliberately, trying not to wake Glimmer, as she climbed off the cot and made her way to the door. 

"Who is it?" she whispered.

"Uh, it's bow. I was wondering if we could talk for a little bit?"

Catra's ears shifted and sank as she thought of the unpleasant prospect of talking with happy go lucky bow. " I--I guess." Catra opened her door quietly. Catra tried to shut it before Bow could see inside. Catra couldn't tell if she wanted him to not see the mess or the princess on her bed. 

But, Bow saw her. Glimmer was rolling over and making soft sleepy nonsense noises before seemingly fully falling back into her heavy slumber when the door clicked closed. 

"What is Glimmer doing in your room?!" Bow shouted, confused.

"Shhh! You'll wake her up!" 

"--I--What--what is she doing in your room?" Bow leaned into Catra and whispered. 

"She wanted to sleep and so did I. Why does it matter?"

"Because the last time we saw Glimmer she was hell bent on killing you!" Bow whisper-yelled in a special Bow way. 

"Yeah well--things--situations, people change...." Catra looked at her feet as she spoke. "What did you want anyway?"

Bow unsure what to do with his hands, or this situation simply pressed forward. "We needed to debrief with you. Find out what happened up there."

"Can't you ask Sparkles that stuff?"

"...No. We need to know why you're here and we need to hear it from you. A lot of us--" Catra looked up at Bow with a knowing stare. " --All of us are confused."

"Yeah well. Join the club." Catra started walking down the hall with Bow right behind her. "Glimmer and I came to an understanding. I don't think we know what it is. But--Ugh.." 

Suddenly Catra turned on her heel to face a startled Bow. Catra leaned in close. "You have to PROMISE not to say this to anyone! And DO NOT repeat it." Bow nodded. "Okay. Look. Arrow boy, you're obnoxious and way too chipper for my liking, but you seem sincere. And frankly I've grown to--admire--sincere the last few weeks, so I'm gonna trust you with this..."

Bow's eyes got that annoying, bright, caring quality Catra couldn't look at. It was like taking a taser shot to the face. "Ugh--never mind..." Catra started to turn away, disgusted in herself. 

"No! " Bow grabbed Catra's arm gently. "Please....Trust me, Catra. I want to know if you and my friend are okay..."

Catra's expression softened. She's felt softer lately. It would scare her but she's not certain fear is an emotion Catra could manage nowadays. 

"Okay...I um--I care about Glimmer....And I think she cares about me too? And I'm really scared what that means and if anyone would believe me if I told them. Especially not you all. Okay. I said a thing. Now I'm going to leave and die in a hole..." 

Catra turned to walk away but suddenly she was pulled into Bow's arms. 

"Are you hugging me?..." Catra twitched under Bow's mighty grasp. 

"Yes, Catra! Yes I am! Do not fight it!" Bow exclaimed, with tears soaking his cheeks.

Catra huffed but then she wrapped her arms around Bow and let him hold her for a moment. But only a moment before she stiffly broke up the contact. "Uh--the others...Please just let them know I wont be a nuisance. I'll stay out of their way. They wont have to see much of me....I'm going to--uh--find a change of clothes or-or--something..."

Catra was down the hall before Bow could stop her. He shook his head and cautiously made his way back to Catra's room and opened the door gingerly. He saw Glimmer sitting on the edge of the cot and looking out the window. 

"Hi Glimmer." Bow softly said. 

"Hello, Bow." Glimmer said, not looking away from the window. "Do you have those reports for me?" 

"Yeah...I left them on the table in the war room when I saw you weren't in your room this morning. " He sat down next to Glimmer and put a hand on her shoulder. "How was the talk with your dad?"

"It happened. It was good to see him. I'm glad he's alive. Thank you for asking. " 

Bow grumbled to himself and tried to contain his intense confusion and hurt. 

"Glimmer? What's the matter with you!? You haven't sounded like yourself...." Glimmer got up and began picking up pieces of glass from the floor and placing it on a bedside table as Bow spoke. "I know it must have been hard up there. I do. But we've missed you so much. But....You don't--When we last saw you--You have to be able to talk to your friends!"

Glimmer froze and stood rigidly with a piece of glass clenched in her hand. "I don't deserve your friendship anymore Bow. I know that. I took it for granted. I always did....You and Adora. I'm sorry." The crushed pieces of glass scraped in her palm. A drip of blood came out from between her fingers as she forced a taller and queenly posture. "Excuse me I must get ready for my morning meetings. If you can, see to it someone finds clothes that'll fit...." 

Bow nodded as the queen left the room. Bow sunk his head in his hands.


	10. Chapter 10

Catra managed to avoid any other people as she found her way to what looked like a laundry room. She found a freshly washed tunic and pants among the soaking guard's uniforms and clean towels. 

She shut the door softly and began pulling off her bright green Horde mandated uniform. Each removal of a piece of clothing felt like a never ending chore. Catra tugged and ripped at her neckline, trying to pull the whole damn thing off as quick as possible, and damn the consequences. She dug her sharp nails into the fabric and through, cutting into her skin below. She didn't care. She wanted the fucking thing off her body. 

Catra huffed and spat as her jumpsuit ripped at its seams. "Get. Off. Of me!" Catra screamed, tears of frustration welling in her eyes. The pieces fell to the floor as she shredded away and was left in her undergarments and on her knees.

The former Horde leader leaned against the wall with her new set of clothes in her hands for a moment. She was still crying. She had gotten used to not realizing when she weeping. 

Suddenly a voice came from a corridor on the other side of the room. Catra recognized it instantly. "Hello?! I'm looking for more clothes for the queen?! I don't know if anyone is down here right now..." Suddenly Adora came into view. Her soft, determined eyes widened when she saw Catra laying on the ground in front of her. 

"Hey Adora." Catra said without any smugness or venom. It still felt weird to hear herself say it. 

Adora looked around at the ground, at the tattered pieces of horde uniform scattered around and then to Catra, clutching her new clothes against her chest. "Hello Catra...what are you doing here?"

"uh--I needed clothes...." Catra said flatly. She couldn't look at Adora. She patted the back of her hand against her cheek to check if she was still crying. She was. "...okay....I'm going to leave now..." 

Catra wobbled to her feet. Adora grabbed her by the arm tightly. "Catra please I need to know why you're here...." Pleaded Adora. 

Catra's eyes looked up to meet Adora's for the first time in a long time. They both just stared. Lost for a moment. Lost in moments. Lost in lifetimes. Lost in each other. And then it was gone. Catra's tears became the only thing Adora could see. 

"...I have no where else to go..." Catra said matter-of-fact-ly. "Glim-- The queen said I could come stay here. But please know I don't plan on staying long...I won't get in your hair..." Catra turned away, and headed toward the door. 

"Catra wait!" Adora pulled her back to face her. And then she was embraced tightly in Adora's arms. "I was so afraid you were dead...." Adora whispered softly. 

Suddenly, without her noticing, Catra's arms were around Adora's waist as they both swayed and held each other in the laundry room of Brightmoon Castle. 

They stayed that way for a few moments before Catra pulled away. "I have to change..." Catra held up her new clothes as if to indicate her meaning. Adora nodded with a slight smile.

"I have to find something for Glimmer to wear. It's why I came down here....Catra?"

Catra, halfway out the door turned around. "Hmm?"

"Why was Glimmer in your room?" 

Catra's face became flushed and she looked down at her feet. "...we got used to sleeping near each other....its nice..." Catra huffed as she realized she said that out loud. To Adora. 

Catra turned back into the hall and left Adora standing alone.

******

Adora, clutching a pile of clothes, knocked cautiously on door frame to Glimmer's quarters. The door was half open and Glimmer was sitting in her sleeping gown. She was sat in front of vanity mirror, combing her hair with a freshly bandaged hand. 

"Yes?" Glimmer turned around to see Adora and could feel her shoulders tighten. "Hello Adora. What can I do for you?"

"Oh...Uh. Bow told me you needed clothes so I looked around and found you these." Adora held out a few selections of purple, pink and lavender outfits . "I didn't know what you wanted exactly but..."

"Thank you Adora. You can place them on the table." Glimmer turned away. What was she doing? She couldn't bare to see Adora's eyes. 

Adora placed the pile of clothes down pensively and then sat on the bench by the windowsill. "Glimmer...Bow told me about this morning..."

The air sucked out of Glimmer's chest as she heard those words. 

"...And that you wouldn't look him in the eye...."

Glimmer clenched her fists and looked at Adora through her mirror. Glimmer watched the woman she had admired most weep quietly as she searched for words. 

"I don't know what happened with Horde Prime, Glimmer, but I promise I will listen. I care about you. All of us do. If--If something happened to you--"

Glimmer stood suddenly, her fists still balled tight. She could feel a burn from the cuts on her hand. And a burning in the scars on her legs. 

"Glimmer....?"

Glimmer wheeled around with tears in her eyes. " I don't deserve your care Adora!" The words hit the air and then Glimmer slunk down into her chair. 

"...Deserve? What do you mean? Why wouldn't you--?" Adora stumbled. 

"I said too much Adora. " Glimmer gave a weak, aristocratic wave to the door. "Please leave my chambers. I have to change."

Adora, bewildered, walked toward the door as Glimmer refused to look her in the face. Then she stopped still and turned back to Glimmer. 

"Why were you sleeping in Catra's bed, Glimmer?" Adora let slip out. 

"Jealous, Adora?" Glimmer said with a venom she wasn't sure she meant. 

"....Why are you acting like this, Glimmer?"

"Like what?"

"Like this!" Adora's frustration boiled as she leaned down to Glimmer. "You've been....really far away..." Adora put her hands on Glimmer's shoulders as she spoke. "I know when we last saw each other it wasn't....great....But we can still be friends! Best friends! If you trust us--trust me-- enough to let you heal."

Glimmer stared down at the floor as she felt Adora's soft hands and her kind words. How very like Adora, to say the right thing. 

" Thank you. You're very kind, Adora." Glimmer just found herself saying very coldly. Why couldn't she just feel a damn thing? Why did hearing all these voices, seeing all the faces, she loved make her so bitter and angry?

"Glimmer. I need to know you're okay. I need to know what to do to protect you. It's my job...."

"I have guards for that, Adora..."

"You know what I mean!" Adora pulled away and threw her arms up in frustration. "You're covered in scars from gods know what! You wont talk to anyone! Keep demanding to focus on a war you were just a prisoner in! And you won't tell anyone where Catra fits into any of this! I mean I care about her, but frankly she's been so cruel, and especially to you-"

Glimmer stared at her with wildly intense eyes. Adora had never seen this look in Glimmer's eyes. "Catra is the reason I'm alive. Any disparaging of her or her character near me will not be tolerated. Do you understand?" Glimmer was on her feet and charging at Adora, who suddenly was fumbling backwards and had to quickly steady herself. 

"...yes..." Adora managed to say. 

"Good. Now please leave, Commander. I have meetings to get to and still need to change."

Adora looked down at Glimmer for a moment, turned away and then walked out the door, fuming. 

After the door clicked closed Glimmer looked over the clothes left behind and suddenly her chest ached. Her body shook as she screamed and threw a chair against the wall.


	11. Chapter 11

Glimmer readjusted her cape as she stepped into the meeting room of Brightmoon Castle. The, now blood soaked, bandage on her hand was covered in a finger-less glove and her new lavender outfit, showing her thinner frame, covered the scars from Horde Prime's temper tantrum. Her eyes were tired and dark as she surveyed the others on the security council, already at the table. 

She caught her father's eyes and he smiled brightly while she nodded and tried her best to smile back. She's certain she looked like a cretin, unfit for other's gaze. She saw Bow, seemingly not sure where to look, instead focused on a folder in front of him. 

Glimmer sat down next to her father and opened the packet of information in front of her. Maps and troop break downs and security concerns for Brightmoon, now that Horde prime's main forces are stranded across the galaxy, for now. 

Micah put a hand on Glimmer's as he called the meeting to order. Suddenly all these voices Glimmer didn't think she'd ever hear again spoke. Spinerella talking about the Prime scouts found in the whispering woods, Bow talking about his work on fortifying defenses around the Moonstone. Entrapta talking about robotic defenses for everyone's chambers.....

The voices blurred together and Glimmer just stared down at the words in front of her and tried to breathe. But breathing was hard. Why was breathing so hard? She was gasping . The scars on her legs burned. 

"...Glimmer?" Micah's voice flooded over Glimmer as she felt the world sinking beneath her. "Glimmer??"

Glimmer shook into reality and suddenly she noticed she was crying. She reached her fingers up to her face and felt a stream of hot tears. Of course. She's never not crying! Always! 

Glimmer jumped to her feet. "Forgive me. I think I must retire to my chambers. I'm not feeling well." With that Glimmer was out the door and down the hall. The others tried to talk to her. Calm her. But their words sounded like sirens and she had to leave that room. 

Suddenly Glimmer was knocking on Catra's door. 

"Yeah?..." A quiet Catra called from inside.

"...It's me...can I come in?"

"Of course."

With a pink flash, Glimmer was standing in Catra's room. Catra was sitting, legs folded, on her cot and nibbling on a bowl of cut fruits. She caught Glimmer's sad eyes. 

Glimmer's eyes were still soaked in tears. "Where'd you get that fruit?"

Catra shrugged and mimicked just snatching it without anyone seeing. Glimmer smiled a little. Catra liked seeing her smile. 

Glimmer sat next to Catra and pulled her glove off, and her bandage with it. Her palm wounds had reopened and were bleeding. But, Glimmer just stared at it. 

Catra wordlessly ripped a piece of her sheets and began wrapping it around Glimmer's hand. "You--you don't have to do that, Catra..."

"I know..." Catra said, diligently finishing tying the cloth around the bleeding hand. 

"Thank you." 

Catra looked at Glimmer. Her sad, dark, purple eyes looked like they were begging for something. Catra took a risk and assumed they were begging for her. She kissed Glimmer's soft pink lips. Glimmer kissed back, running her fingers through the wild mane of her beautiful cat.

They flopped flat onto the cot and Glimmer laid on top of Catra as she run her fingers along the feline woman's body. Catra felt like a salve. A comfort. A stable reality in everything that felt impossible. 

Catra gripped Glimmer's arms and then gently, careful of her claws, ran her hands up and down them. Just feeling Glimmer. Her warmth. Her breathing. Her voice. The sounds she made when they kissed.....It felt like home to Catra.

They broke up their kiss for a moment and Catra just watched the tears drop from Glimmer's cheek and on to her own chest. "We don't have to do anything right now, Glimmer..."

"I know.....I wanted to kiss you...."

"I know."

Glimmer leaned off Catra and sat at the edge of the cot. "I don't know what I'm doing here...in this castle. I'm trying to be confident and strong but I can't look anyone in the eye....Everyone is so loud and so different. Or I'm different? I feel different. I can't say why. No one believes me when I say I'm okay. I mean I don't believe it. But they should. I said it. It's the end of discussion. "

Catra wrapped her arms around Glimmer as she spoke. Placing her chin on Glimmer's shoulder. 

"Hello there." Glimmer said with a small smile. 

"Hello." Catra teased. 

"You think about how weird this all feels?" 

"Constantly." Catra placed a little smooch on Glimmer's cheek. 

"I ran out on a meeting after I told Bow I couldn't talk to him so I could focus on it.....And then I saw his face as I ran out in tears. God, he's so disappointed in me...I hurt him so badly and I don't know why...."

"Sparkles...We're good at hurting people...We knew this. Blessed to be trouble makers....sometimes you can't stop...."

Glimmer held onto the hands wrapped around her waist and leaned her head against Catra's. 

"Have you talked to Scorpia or Entrapta yet?"

"No."

"Are you going to?"

"I don't know....I think I might just hide in here until I die..."

"Sounds like a plan..."

Glimmer and Catra held each other as their first day back on Etheria became evening.


	12. Chapter 12

Glimmer awoke in early afternoon, Catra's arm still draped around her. They had tussled and turned all night, but Glimmer still managed to find herself in her arms when she woke. A soft smile grew on her face as she watched Catra gently breathe in and out. It was the same gentle, steady breathing that kept her from going mad in that cell. An anchor in an otherwise grinding, bitter torture. 

The cell rushed into her head. The bitter cold. The agonizingly slow sensation of starving to death. His eyes.

In an instant, Glimmer felt Prime's claws slowly pressing into her throat. Glimmer froze. She turned her head away from Catra to find no one else in the room. Glimmer slowly turned her, now watering eyes, back down on Catra. 

The sensation wouldn't leave. Glimmer ran her hand along her neck, as she slipped Catra's arm off of her and sat on the edge of the cot. Her vision blurred with tears as she felt the air leave her. 

She choked. She wasn't sure if it was because the tears were streaming so hard or if she just couldn't find the ability to let herself actually breathe. She grabbed the side of her head and pulled her hair and she felt the sensation of her flesh being punctured and slashed. The sensation of shattered glass under her open wounds. 

Then she felt something soft wrap gently around her waist. 

"Sparkles?....can you hear me?" A voice seemed to echo in her head but outside of it somehow. "Say something if you can hear me."

The voice was familiar and gentle. Air burst into Glimmer's lungs for the first time in, she doesn't know how long. She let out a soft pants as her fingers clenched her hair. Her lungs burned. 

"...I--I hear you...." 

"Good. Is it alright if I put my hand on you?" Glimmer gave a slow nod. She could feel a hand slowly run along her back. The feeling of the claws gripping her neck faded under the new sensation. 

"I feel....so stupid..." Glimmer choked out, through spit and tears. 

"Ssshhh." The hand on her back began to make small quick circles. "You're not stupid. I'd let you know if you were."

Glimmer let out a small half chuckle, half sob. Her hands found there way into her lap. Glimmer then noticed the soft thing around her waist was Catra's tail. It ran against her belly a little and it felt so much like safety. 

His claws were gone. 

Glimmer suddenly felt like a freed prisoner for the second time in two days. Her body felt her own again as the coiled tension in her back and shoulders dropped out of her, leaving intense soreness and a pang of shame. 

She ran her fingers along Catra's tail, feeling the soft fur bristle through them. She noticed that the bandage on her hand had come off in during the night. She didn't have the energy to give a shit. 

Glimmer kept weeping quietly. "Can you hold me?"

Catra leaned up and crossed her legs behind Glimmer. "Of course." She wrapped her fuzzy arms around Glimmer's stomach gently, careful not to squeeze. Catra laid her chin on Glimmer's shoulder and made a soft purr. 

"...I like that noise...."

"I know." Catra replied gently. 

They sat like that for an hour or two. Glimmer letting out little sobs while Catra simply held her close. Occasionally Catra would readjust her head or take a moment to run one of her hands along Glimmer's arm. 

* * * * *

As the sun began to set they still hadn't left the room. They had settled back down on the cot facing each other. Catra's tail was loosely laying across Glimmer's hip. Glimmer's eyes were red and puffy. 

"Fuck. I still haven't gone to the bathroom..." Glimmer suddenly blurted. Catra gave a little chuckle and twirled Glimmer's hair between her fingers. 

"Then go, princess."

"I'm a queen, you peasant." Glimmer said with a mock, and very tired sounding, regal tone. 

"Oh right! Then get up and take a piss already, your majesty." Catra grinned, as she pulled her tail back over to her side of the cot. 

"Fine." Glimmer huffed, lazily pulling herself up on to the side of the cot again. Catra lets her hand linger where Glimmer's hair had been. She watched Glimmer slowly shuffle across the room and into the attached bathroom, shutting the door quietly. 

Catra let out a very long breath and sat up in the middle of the cot. Her foot found Glimmer's loose bandage. Catra stretched to pick it up, holding a non bloody part pinched between her fingers, and plopped it onto a bedside table that was awkwardly pulled near the cot. 

Just as she watched the small piece of blood soaked cloth drop onto the table top there was a gentle knock at the door. Catra looked over at the bathroom a moment waiting to see if Glimmer heard it. A moment passed so Catra made her way to the door. 

Catra opened it a crack to see Adora's worried face. Catra darted her eyes down. 

"What do you need, Adora?" Catra tried to sound as non dismissive as she could. She doubted it read as anything but. 

"Is Glimmer in there? I need to talk to her."

"I don't think that'd be a good idea..."

"Oh yeah?! Why?..." Adora demanded. 

"Because I just spent the last how many hours calming her down from a freak out."

Adora's expression softened. Her eyes were wide with a look of confusion that quickly settled into one of worry. "Freak out?...."

"Yeah, I don't know, it's what I call it." Catra tried to look up at Adora and firmly look her in the eye. It felt hard. "....it feels like we're both still up there...."

Adora stepped back from the door a little and shuffled her feet as it seemed like a dozen different emotions were hitting her at once. "I won't let either of you get taken back there. You know that right?!" 

"Yes....I know Adora..." Catra said, somehow touched, and deeply frustrated with Adora. Her first instinct is to pledge an oath to defend the weak and pathetic. Four months ago Catra would have scoffed and spat in Adora's face. Now she was just too damn tired. "But heroics bullshit isn't what she needs..."

Adora flinched a little and furrowed her brow. "And what DOES she need?"

Catra turned her head to the bathroom a moment, and hushed her voice a little. "Look. Sparkles is.....doing rough today. I don't know what she's going to need when she gets out of the bathroom but I know I'll take care of it."

Adora softened. She took a moment and then her eyes became instantly distant, her attention clearly now on her own internal chatter. "Okay....ju-just tell us if she wants to see any of us or needs...food or something....I--"

"Adora, this isn't your fault." Catra found the words alien in her mouth. 

"What did you say?...." Adora looked slack jawed. 

"...Tha--that it's not your fault." 

"Oh god....and you mean it?..."

"...Yes..."

"You blame me for everything....you always said it was my fault..." Adora ran her fingers through her hair, as she straightened up and pivoted away from the door for a moment. Then turned quickly back around. "You're Catra right?"

"Fuck! Yes. It's me. Shut up you're making this weird." Catra hissed. 

"Okay." Adora was completely out of sorts and was very much reeling. "...Uh--uh....I need to process this..."

"Clearly."

Adora turned her eyes to the floor a moment, in thought. "Let Glimmer know I checked in. I gotta think about stuff." Catra gave a nod. "Please remind her we care?"

"Okay." 

Catra watched Adora turn and walk back down the hall and out of sight before quietly closing the door. She made her way back to the cot and sat. Catra let out a little sigh and felt like she was spinning. "Being here is so fucking weird...." 

The bathroom door clicked open and Glimmer wobbled back over toward Catra. "I am an absolute mess." Glimmer mumbled. 

"What else is new?" Catra said with a gentle fanged smile. 

Glimmer weakly shoved Catra's shoulder. "Shut uuuupppp." 

Catra stood and intertwined her fingers in Glimmer's. Glimmer nuzzled her face into Catra's neck a little. Catra let out a little purr. "Wanna get some food?"


	13. Chapter 13

The two slowly made their way through the hall, their hands interlocked but loose at their sides, Glimmer leaned a little of her body weight on Catra as they shuffled along. Glimmer had said she wanted take the 'long way' to the kitchen. She said it was because she wanted to actually walk around for the first time in months, but Catra thought it probably was so she could avoid the others by stalling until she was sure they were done with dinner. 

Regardless, the kitchen staff had already cleaned up and put the left overs into an ice box. But there also was a small pot of stew still sitting over the dying embers of the cooking fire. It was presumably left in case the queen decided to come out of Catra's room and eat something. Glimmer pulled off its lid and smelled it for a moment before shutting it again. 

Glimmer quickly grabbed the pot off it's hook and a couple forks from a drawer. Catra saw a couple small loafs of bread sitting on the counter, and scooped them up. Glimmer led Catra out to a garden and plopped the pot in the middle of a table. Catra handed Glimmer one of the loafs and she handed her a fork. 

They plopped down into chairs next to one another and wordlessly began furiously eating. Shoving chunks of meat and root vegetables into their mouths. Their forks would occasionally tangle and scrape in the pot, seemingly jostling for position, but they'd also work together to rip apart larger pieces to eat between them. Soon the chunks in the stew were gone and all that left was the broth. 

"You dipping your bread in that pot, Sparkles?"

"Probably. Why? You want all the juice stuff to yourself?"

"I mean, in a perfect world I would be chugging it with you at my feet."

Glimmer dipped her bread into the broth and chomped onto it with a semi theatrical rip and chewed it loudly. "Perfect worlds suck shit."Glimmer grinned a moment, bread still in the back of her cheek. 

"Now I remember why I used to find it so satisfying to hit you." Catra said with a small wistful smirk. She dipped her bread in and then nibbled at it a moment before gingerly ripping a piece off and chewing. 

"Your tooth still hurting you?" Glimmer asked, dropping her satisfied grin instantly. Catra gave a little nod. "There are healers who could help you. I mean....us....I mean Mystacor has--"

"I don't want to waste anyone's time, Glimmer..."

"Your well being is not a waste of time, Catra." Glimmer wanted to yell but didn't have the strength so she simply stuck to trying to sound stern and poking Catra in the chest with her finger. 

"Hmph. Whatever, Sparkles. Let's table this for now, okay? I don't feel like being poked and prodded by some random wizard right now...."

"Okay." Glimmer laid her hand on Catra's and squeezed a little. Catra looked up at Glimmer and her eyes looked so sad but clear. They had that fire in them even now. They had become a beacon to swim to when Glimmer felt she was drowning.

Glimmer turned her eyes down and noticed. Catra swirling her bread on the bottom of the pot. "....are you taking the rest of the broth?!"

Catra's sad expression dropped and she giggled. "Yes!" Catra crammed the now soaked hunk of bread into her mouth, closing with a satisfied grin. 

"Fucker! That is unfair use of sad eyes, Catra!" Glimmer huffed. She weakly slapped at Catra's shoulder a little as Catra chewed away. 

Suddenly, the hairs on the back of Glimmer's neck bristled as she felt someone walk up next to them. She flinched and found herself pulling into Catra and making herself small. She looked up and saw it was her father. He looked devastated by Glimmer's knee jerk reaction to recoil in terror, and quickly tried to turn his expression to one more kind. 

"Forgoing the bowls this evening, I see!" He tried to give a warm chuckle, but he was clearly still concerned. 

"...Yeah..." Glimmer said quietly. Glimmer found her grip on Catra tightening. 

"Wonderful....." King Micah's tone grew a bit more somber. "...How are you?"

Glimmer darted her eyes down. "I'm fine, dad." The skin on her arms felt prickly, so sensitive that the cool night air felt like pins. 

"It's just that no one had seen you, either of you, since yesterday afternoon...."

"I said I'm fine!" 

"It's just that you haven't been yourself, and we--"

"HOW WOULD YOU KNOW?!" Glimmer shook. "I haven't seen you since I was four years old! Stop acting like you know shit about me, dad...You have no idea who I am."

"I know who you are, Glimmer!" Micah said, firmly. 

"Did you know I'm a failure?! A bad queen?! A bad person!?" Glimmer started to weep. 

Catra wrapped her up in her arms and swayed her a bit. "Sparkles, relax okay? It's okay. It's okay...."

Micah took a step back a moment and then slouched his shoulders a bit. His eyes were watering. "You're still my daughter Glimmer, and I love you..."

Glimmer didn't respond. She just wept. Micah bent down to put a hand on Glimmer's shoulder and in an instant Glimmer and Catra were gone, leaving only bits of pink sparkles. 

* * * * * *

Catra sat on the edge of her cot, watching Glimmer furiously pace in front of the fireplace. She was still crying as she ran her fingers through her hair. "What the fuck is wrong with me?! I spend years of my life wishing my dad would magically come back and now he has and I can't look him in the fucking face!"

"Sparkles..."

"I should be praising the gods that he's alive and in my life....but...it feels so stupid and hollow. My whole inside feels so hollow..."

Catra stood and wrapped Glimmer up in her arms. Glimmer buried her face into Catra's chest and closed her wet eyes. They swayed a little side to side, Catra's tail running up and down Glimmer's side gently. 

"...I don't feel worthy of being a person when I look in their faces..." Glimmer quietly said.

"Who's faces?"

"All of them. The people I left here. I think they expected me to come back the same....I did too....but I haven't. I've let all of them down..."

Catra leaned back and pressed her forehead to Glimmer's. She looked down at her sad purple eyes as they slowly drifted down to floor. "They're very happy you're alive, Glimmer. I know that."

Glimmer sighed. "Up there, I promised I'd make amends and be honest and be the best Sparkles I can be...." Catra let out a little chuckle at Glimmer calling herself her own nickname. "...But....Being back here. Having to actually look them in the eyes....I just...don't feel like I'm even worth the effort...."

"What do you need, Sparkles?" Catra said with a soft, gentle tone. 

"I dunno...I just can't stand being around them....Being near them makes me wish I could be literally anywhere else..."

Catra thought a moment before stepping away from Glimmer. "You know what, Sparkles? My tooth is really buggin' the shit outta me."

"Wha?" Glimmer looked up at her, confused.

"Yeah. Uh, I think I might actually need healing you were talking about."

"Yeah?..."

"Yeah. I think we should probably go to that Mystacor place you mentioned...."

Glimmer's eyes lit with understanding and gave a gentle nod. "I mean....if you feel like it...."

Catra grabbed Glimmer up in her arms again. "Yeah I mean. It'd be super nice to get away from those Brightmoon dweebs. Was gettin' soooo tired of 'em. "

A little smile grew on Glimmer's tear soaked face. "Me toooo." Glimmer gave a faux rolling of her eyes."Suuper tedious."

Catra gave Glimmer a quick kiss on the lips, her fang scraping her bottom lip. "We'll tell them about it in the morning and get the hell out of here, okay?"

Glimmer gave a gentle nod, their lips still barely touching. "Thank you."

"Don't mention it, Sparkles..." Catra said lifting her head and running her thumb through Glimmer's bangs. "I gotta piss." Catra let go of Glimmer and began walking toward the bathroom. 

"Oh my god, you always ruin the moment!" Glimmer playfully huffed. 

"Moment?" Catra said through a grin. "Were we having a moment?"

"You know we were!" Glimmer crossed her arms and plopped onto the cot. Then quickly laid down onto her back and spread out her limbs to take up the whole cot. "Now you have to fight me for sleeping room when you get out of the bathroom!"

Catra gave a light chuckle and opened the door. "I take no prisoners."

"Whatever, kitty kitty, when you get back, prepare for war!" 

When Catra came out the bathroom Glimmer was snoring loudly. For all of her posturing and positioning before, in her slumber she had already curled up into a tight, small ball. Catra ran the tips of her fingers against the side of Glimmer's hair and gently hummed as she climbed onto the cot. She threw an arm around Glimmer, and closed her eyes.


	14. Chapter 14

Glimmer slowly paced the throne room, as the morning sun shown through the open archways behind the high throne of Brightmoon. Catra leaned against a pillar and swayed her tail lazily as she watched the tired pink princess move about. 

"It's okay, Sparkles. They'll understand, I'm sure."

"Yeah...probably..." Glimmer said, not ceasing her pacing. 

Glimmer had just sent a few guards to fetch her father, Adora, Bow, and her aunt Castaspella and the moment the orders left her mouth a sinking feeling grew in her gut. How could she do this? How could she, just now returned from captivity, with a valuable new fighter for the rebellion, perhaps turning the tide of the war, now throw it all away in days?! Why? Because she felt a little sad? A little agitated? She felt like a coward.

Glimmer stopped her pacing and began to suck in air. Her hands gripping the side of her dress. Catra must have noticed her thousand yard stare and heavy breathing and picked up on her clear retreating into herself, because she was very quickly by Glimmer's side. 

Catra slowly ran her hand along Glimmer's back and gave a gentle hum. Glimmer straightened and leaned into the touches. "You're the queen here, right. Just tell them you think it's best...that's all you need to do. And I'll be here, okay?"

Glimmer closed her eyes. "Okay." Glimmer turned around to face Catra and rested her head in her chest. Catra wrapped her up in her fuzzy arms. "Thank you, Catra..."

"Of course." Catra grinned gently and placed her chin on top of Glimmer's head softly. 

As they gently embraced, Micah, Bow, Adora and Castaspella entered with the guards. They all tried to hide their clear shock as Catra quickly saw them and released Glimmer. 

"...We're you two hugging?" Castaspella asked. 

"We hug now. It's a thing...." Catra said quietly. Catra took a small step away from Glimmer, but still in arms reach. "...anyway....Glimmer wanted to talk to you..."

Glimmer looked over at Catra a moment. "Yeah...I did...."

"What's this about?" Adora asked firmly. Adora crossed her arms. Her patience with Glimmer was thin, no matter how much she still cared for her. She had tried several times to have a simple conversation with Glimmer, to tell her how happy she is that Glimmer was back...but instead she hid away with Catra. And now she calls some meeting without an explanation and they find Catra whispering in her ear. 

Glimmer turned her tired, sad eyes to Adora a moment before turning them to all four of them. "I'm going to go away for a while...."

"What do you mean?" Bow asked, concern dripping in his words. "Where are you going?"

"Mystacor." Glimmer stated.

"...Why?" 

"I--it's hard to articulate why--I...need to..."

"Well no matter the reason, you're always welcome at Mystacor for however long you need to be there." Casta chimed in, seemingly catching the meaning behind Glimmer's sudden want to flee Brightmoon. 

"Thank you, aunt Casta...." Glimmer gave a weak nod. 

"Whatever you need dear!" Micah said, with a comforting smile and sad eyes. 

"Good. Because Catra is coming with me."

The room filled with tension. 

"I don't think that's a good idea, Glimmer..." 

"Well this isn't your decision, Adora." Glimmer felt her teeth grind. She had no patience for Adora. She hated looking into her perfect face. Especially when that face was looking at you like you were the stupidest woman alive. "I need Catra there."

Adora scoffed and turned her back to Glimmer, out frustration a moment before wheeling back around. "Fine....then I'm coming."

"No you're not!" Glimmer screamed. She had not expected to jump so many emotional levels so fast. But then again lately, emotional middle ground seemed entirely impossible for Glimmer these days. Another thing destroyed in Prime's cell. 

Catra interlaced her fingers in Glimmer's and gave it a gentle squeeze. Glimmer felt her anger cool a little. 

"No...you're not...Just me and Catra....I don't--"

"Don't what, Glimmer?" Bow's eyes were pleading and sad. "You know you can tell us anything."

"I don't know if that's true...." Glimmer mumbled quietly. 

"Please, Glimmer, we just want what's best for you..." Her father pleaded.

"...I--I can't stand to be around you...." Glimmer choked out, her eyes filling with tears. "Any of you.....Brightmoon feels so overwhelming and--" Glimmer started to sob loudly and Catra wrapped her up in her arms. 

"Sssshhh. Glimmer. it okay...it's okay." Catra quietly said, running her fingertips through Glimmer's hair. 

Adora's posture softened as she watched Catra do for Glimmer, what she had done for Catra for years back in the Horde. Just be there. Hold her. Tell everything will be alright. Even if you know that couldn't possibly be true. 

"Fine..." Adora finally said. Glimmer's sobs slowed as she listened. "If Catra is coming....I want you to have an escort we all trust."

Glimmer slowly moved back to face Adora, her hands still gripped to Catra. "Like who?"

"Castaspella could do it." Bow said turning toward Casta. "If you want to? I mean you ARE in charge of Mystacor...."

Casta put a finger to her chin a moment. "Well I was meaning to head back there for a while. I wanted to give the defenses a good look over and do some administrative tiding up! But, I of course will stay as long as the girls need me!"

Micah ran his fingers through his beard a moment. "Whatever you need, Glimmer....But I will need you to communicate to me regularly while you're there....I don't like the idea of you being someplace I can't reach you again..."

Glimmer's chest ached as spoke. "I know, dad....I'm so sorry...."

"No need to be sorry, Glimmer...."

"Dad....I have so much to be sorry for..." Glimmer slipped her hand off of Catra and wiped tears from her face. "...So damn much..."Glimmer stepped down off the steps to the throne, reaching her hand out for Catra to grab. She did. "I need to pack....Aunt Casta can we leave by this afternoon?"

"Of course. You're the teleporter, dear! We can leave when ever you're ready!" Casta said with a bright smile. Then her face scrunched up a bit. "Though....I need to get to packing!" Casta tapped her chin. "Yeah, afternoon sounds.....doable....."

Glimmer let out a deep sigh. "Okay....well....bye..." Glimmer said, awkwardly slipping past Bow and her father, dragging Catra behind her.

She looked back over her shoulder a moment and saw Bow, Adora and Micah in a state of bewilderment and sadness. That seemed to be their now automatic response to seeing Glimmer these days away. 

As they made it into the Queen's quarters, Glimmer collapsed onto to a bench by the window. Catra gently sat next to her, her hand still around Glimmer's. She leaned against Glimmer and let her tail wrap around her wrist. "You did good, Sparkles."

"Did I? I feel like a fucking idiot."Glimmer stared absently at a stack of clothes that don't fit her anymore. "What do I even pack? I don't have any clothes...."

"Hey I'll take some stuff if you're not usin' em!" Catra nudged Glimmer's ribs a little. 

"If they're too big on me they're too big on you, goofus."

"Nah it's fine. I like to swim in my clothes..."

Glimmer let out a playful scoff. "Since when?! Miss tight black leather and red spandex!"

Catra let out a soft laugh. Then she stared off for a moment. "That wasn't me I don't think..."

Glimmer nuzzled into Catra a little. "No?"

"No. That was me trying desperately to be what people expected me to be. It hurt. I did a lot of shitty things...things we still have to talk about..." Glimmer dropped her eyes. "...But that was me finally saying 'I'm shitty?! You haven't seen shit!' and...it felt controlled...for a while...but...gods...it just was playing pretend....a bitter self destructive game of make believe...."

Glimmer took a moment and shifted her weight toward Catra and laid her head on her shoulder. 

"...it made me forget who the real Catra was..."

"Who is the real Catra?" Glimmer asked, her cheek pressed against Catra's fur. 

"I don't know....it's been a long time. A lot my life doing things to maintain appearances....fit a role....be what I think people assumed me to be...."

"Well now you get to decide." 

"Yeah." Catra patted Glimmer's hand. "I guess I do." Catra leaned over, Glimmer sliding out of her way as she grabbed one of Glimmer's old shirts and pulled it on over her tunic. "Maybe big shirt Catra is part of it."

Glimmer giggled a little as Catra took it in. She was swimming in it. "Well, maybe not this color, because this color looks awful on me..."

"How would you know? Aren't you,like, color blind?"

Catra scoffed and snuggled into Glimmer, the purple fabric of the shirt she put on bunching up as she moved. "What? No! I see color! Just not in a lot of shades...."

"Oh...wait...so when you were in your horde clothes did you think you were wearing one solid red?..."

"I wasn't?!" Catra said with a mock surprise. "Yes, I knew that, sparkles..." Catra let out a soft purr as her eyes closed. 

Glimmer giggled weakly. “Just was wondering. I like learning little things about you. Even after spending how many days basically right on top of each other....its still fun...”

“Yeah...it’s fun learning about you too, Sparkles...”

Glimmer shut her eyes and let out a long deep breath. “...Fuck packing. I’ll just throw on whatever and steal whatever I find at Mystacor.”

“Solid plan.” 

“Can I sleep on you until Aunt Casta gets us?”

“Sure.”

Soon Glimmer drifted off. Catra ran her fingers through her soft hair. Glimmer’s gentle breathing felt a familiar tune to Catra. One she couldn’t see her self tiring of. She looked out the window and waited for afternoon to come.


	15. Chapter 15

Catra and Glimmer leaned against each other as the floating rock brought them and Castaspella to the entrance to Mystacor. Catra had a communicator pad hanging off the shoulder not pressed against Glimmer. Glimmer gripped a small duffel bag with barely anything in it. She haphazardly had tossed in some shampoo and soaps and her hair brush in and said 'fuck it'. 

They gingerly stepped into Mystacor proper. Castaspella looked back over her shoulder with a small smile. "So I figure you'll want to go to your room and unpack?" Glimmer gave Catra a small check-in look and then she nodded. "Normally I'd be pushing a tour on Catra, but I feel like maybe you and her aren't feeling up for the exercise?" They both shook their head. "That's okay. And of course you're welcome to use the beach or grotto or whatever you need!"

Casta stopped them in front of a large guest room. The door was open showing the soft, cushion-y bed inside. Glimmer's nerves swirled in her chest a moment as she realized she couldn't even think of sleeping on that. But she had stayed in that room dozens of times throughout her childhood. That bed used to make her feel so at ease...now... She clenched her fist tighter around her bag's handle. 

Suddenly Catra spoke. "Uh...if it's not a bother--um...do you guys have like firmer beds? Or like a medical cot or something? Sparkles and I can't handle much more than, like, impossibly firm."

Casta's eyes widened a second before her expression became warm. "Of course. I'll see what I can do--"

Glimmer felt strangely distant. Removed from reality. She was watching herself watch Catra and Castaspella discuss her sleeping arrangements. She should be speaking up and telling her aunt what she needed, but instead she watched Catra do the speaking for her. She just felt so numb. 

Glimmer grabbed on to Catra harder. Catra let out a small startled noise before pulling Glimmer in closer. She found the spot right below her wings and ran small circles along her back as she kept talking to Castaspella. Glimmer could feel Catra's fur and her gentle touches and slowly the conversation felt real again. She was there again. 

Castaspella's voice slowly became understandable. "--clothes. But, um, I'm certain I can find something! if you'd like I could take your measurements! How does that sound? Glimmer?"

Glimmer realized she was being asked something and had to force words out. "Oh...uh..yeah. Fine...that sounds fine." Glimmer murmured. Castaspella simply gave a gentle smile and nod and turned back to Catra.

"What about you Catra? I know you need clothes too, and frankly I have already been thinking up all kinds of sweater designs for you!"

"Uh...I don't know about the sweater...But sure." Catra answered shyly. Glimmer felt like she was hiding, as she leaned deeply into Catra's embrace. Catra gave a little smile, her fang poking out, as she looked at Glimmer. "You wanna maybe throw a blanket on the floor and sleep a little?"

Glimmer gave a weak nod and looked up her aunt. "Thank you aunt Casta." She let out, quietly. Catra led her by the hand into the room. Casta gave a small wave and hustled down the hall. 

Glimmer dropped her bag unceremoniously by the door. She found herself just falling to her knees and crawling to the middle of the floor and curling up in a little ball. Catra grabbed a pillow off the bed and propped it under Glimmer's head. "Are you cold?" Glimmer shook her head no. Catra crawled down next to Glimmer, put an arm around her and snuggled into her. 

"Are you as tired as I am?" Glimmer mumbled. 

"Yeah."

"I feel so tired all the time now. I used to be forceful and vibrant...Right? I used to take charge...but now...I don't have the energy and I feel so small. So childish. I'm an adult. A queen....but now...I feel so useless."

Catra ran her fingers gently against Glimmer's soft hair, her nails splitting the sparkle-laden strands, then watching them bounce back into place. "You're not useless, Sparkles."

"Hmm. I have a hard time believing that...I can't even tell my own aunt that I don't like the bed she gave us. She's not the easiest person to talk to but I still would like to think I would have been able to say something...before--before now...."

"I used to basically run The Horde, and that conversation I just had felt like running a marathon...I understand what you mean..."

Glimmer rolled over to look Catra in the face. "You're handling all of this better than me, though. By a lot."

Catra looked down at her own hand as she ran her fingers against Glimmer's side. "I was sort of falling apart long before I got on that ship...Maybe I had less to fall...Maybe it's because I wasn't treated as...roughly up there...I don't know....But your response to all that shit isn't wrong, or stupid, or childish. It's just....your response. Being able to carry a conversation with your aunt doesn't decide if you're useful or not, Sparkles."

Glimmer let out a little sigh and ran her palm along the fur on Catra's chest. "I just feel like I should be better than this..."

"Hmm."

"...what if I never get over this? What if I end up broken and lost forever?" Tears built up in Glimmer's eyes. "What if I keep letting everyone down?"

Catra grabbed Glimmer's hand from her chest and laced her fingers between the young queen's. "Glimmer, it's been like four days...no one expects you to go from hell to normalcy in four days..."

A long quiet moment passed. Just the sound of slow breaths in tandem. "Thank you for taking care of me..." Glimmer said softly. 

Catra gave a tired chuckle. "You're welcome. I've never done this--taking care of someone. Caring for someone. I hope I'm doing okay..."

"You are." Glimmer said simply. Catra reached up and pulled a blanket off of the edge of the bed and wrapped it around them both. She found the jagged scars on Glimmer's thigh and ran her fingers gently along them, careful of her nails. "Do you still have that sinking feeling that you're going to die at any moment?"

"Yeah..."

"I keep expecting clones to come in here and drag you away..."

"I'm not going anywhere, Sparkles." Catra said, placing her head on Glimmer's shoulder and placing a small kiss on her jaw. "Unless you're being annoying..." She grinned and kept kissing on Glimmer's face. 

"Well I may be annoying but I know you can't resist," Glimmer said, jokingly running her hands over her tired body. "allll of this." She gave a small, weak laugh. 

"You're irresistible, your majesty." Catra nibbled Glimmer's ear a little, hearing the young queen let out a small pleased noise, and then plopped her head onto the crook of Glimmer's neck. 

Glimmer ran a hand through Catra's thick, wild hair. "I want to take care of you too..." Glimmer whispered. "I know I'm not strong enough yet...but--all I want to do is keep you safe..." She felt Catra shake a little against her chest. "I mean it. I love you, Catra..."

Catra looked up at her, her eyes wet with tears. "..I--I love you too, Glimmer..." She looked away, unsure of where to turn her eyes. She searched for something to look at, because looking at Glimmer felt like staring at the sun. "...so so much..."

The pulled into each other and both wept. 

* * * * *

In the evening, somehow, Glimmer talked Catra into taking a trip to the steam grotto. She knew she hated water, but felt like the heat would do their sore and underused muscles some good. They took the short, but slow, walk in the robes and bathing garments Casta had found for them. 

As they entered the chamber, Catra clung to Glimmer a little more firmly. Glimmer leaned her head against Catra's shoulder. "Why do you hate water so much?"

Catra tried to give an aloof shrug but it felt more like a shudder. "Sparkles...I'm covered in fur. It takes a long time for this to dry...plus...it feels weird...I don't like the sensation. "

"Well, you don't have to go in if you don't want to--"

"Ugh. I don't want to...but I said I would, so, I'm going to try, at least. I still have my pride, Sparkles."

Glimmer gave her shoulder a little pat. "I know you do." Glimmer slid her robe off and watched Catra do the same. Then, with her hand gently holding Catra's she stepped into the bubbling pool. She let out a little sound of pleasure as her feet soaked in the heat. "Come on...You can do this." Glimmer gave Catra a tired, reassuring smile. 

Catra returned her smile with a pensive stare. Her hand shook a little as she raised her foot up to step in. Her toe touched the water and she let out a yelp and retreated back. She let out a loud sigh and stepped toward the water again, this time squeezing her eyes shut. Soon she felt her weight shift, her foot finding the bottom. She opened her eyes and quickly pulled her other leg in before she lost her nerve. She stood, her hand gripping onto Glimmer's hard. "I did it!...what now?"

"Now you just slide back and sit." Glimmer untangled her fingers from Catra's and demonstrated. Her small body carefully dropping and gliding under the steaming waters. Glimmer made a happy little moan. "Then you just feel it."

Catra looked back at the edge of the pool, to gauge how she wanted to maneuver. The last thing she needed was to bang her head against the rock and get a concussion. She took a deep breath and awkwardly dropped back and sat, the water sloshing a bit as her butt touched the seating shelf. 

The warmth felt wonderful. Catra purred gently. Glimmer gave a little laugh, then wiggled closer to Catra. She placed her head on her chest. Catra looked down at her, her arms hanging off the edge of the pool behind her. "Nice, right?" Glimmer asked, her face pressed to Catra's fur. 

Catra smiled, and let out a pleased noise. "It's alright." 

"I knew you'd like it..." Glimmer sleepily mumbled. Catra felt the tension slowly leave her body and she sank a little lower, her arm wrapping Glimmer up. "You're not supposed to fall asleep in hot springs but...fuck...someone try and stop me..."

Catra chuckled. "I'd like to see them try." She kissed Glimmer's forehead and closed her eyes. She felt Glimmer's fingers wiggle through the still dry bits of fur on her chest. 

"Did I ever tell you how I used to see you? Before prime? before the portal?"

Catra's ear twitched at the mention of the portal. "...no."

"When planning sessions got long and tedious I used to fool around and build this fantasy where I was this fearless force of nature...it was silly...but you--God thinking about myself just a few years ago--I feel so stupid. I went on and on, in front of everyone about you. How you were this devilish, sexy, villainess out of an adventure book, and out to annoy me in particular." Glimmer looked up at Catra. Her eyes were soft. "They don't know this but I used to think about you a lot...my version of you...the version I saw at princess prom....the one that let me and Adora escape the Fright Zone...I would imagine what it was like to have your full attention. Your full focus...imagine I was all yours..."

Catra leaned her head down and kissed Glimmer gently. "You have it now. What you gonna do with it, Princess?"

Glimmer gave a little shrug and kissed Catra's neck. "I dunno...Probably just soak up the limelight. I'm a whore for attention." Catra could practically feel her grin into her fur. 

"Breathe it in, baby. You know how fickle I am..." Glimmer scoffed and then gave a little laugh as she kept planting little kisses on the crook of Catra's neck. Catra purred louder. "It's true...I'm a love 'em and leave type..." Her bravado was cut down but the soft, desperate noises she was making. "-sto-stop I'm a hear--heart breaker..."

"Sure you are, kitty cat." Glimmer mumbled between kisses. "Sure you are."


End file.
